I don’t need your advice. GIVE ME THE EXCUSE.
What do you do when you face a problem? You try to find a solution. You search for the information that will help you solve the problem you have. Right? When you need to know – you ask. First, you ask your parents, then teachers, friends, etc. How this, how that, what if, why so…? You drove your parents crazy with all those “stupid” questions. Remember how annoyed your father would get? What would you do if the people you ask don’t have the answers for you? If you are stubborn enough like me, you ask elsewhere. Books, articles, podcasts, videos, you name it. Countless pages were written on how to solve your exact problem. Eventually, you find the answers. You always do. It is just a question of time. The truth ALWAYS comes out… but only is you seek.
You have a chubby friend. No need to be politically correct here – he is fat. Why is he fat? Is it because he doesn’t know that eating junk will cause weight gain? Or maybe he does not realize that lack of physical activity leads to all sorts of problems and obesity? Of course not and he is well aware of all this. In fact, he knows so much about all different diets and probably can write a book on nutrition.
There is no shortage of information. Knowledge is never a problem.
No matter what the obstacle you face in life, it not unique. Hundreds of thousands of people before you wrestled with EXACTLY the same problem. Thousands of them solved it. They figured it out. Some of those folks even wrote about that. They laid out the exact steps they took and explained in simple words why it worked out for them. 99% of that information is accessible and 90% of it FREE! There is no shortage of information. Just freaking ask!!!
It’s good if you ask questions. Most people don’t. What do people do, whenever there is a problem? That’s right – they complain. This is the typical and initial reaction of 99% of people. I often catch myself complaining when something doesn’t go the pay I planned. No discoveries here – that’s expected. Most folks stop there – at the stage of complaining. Some, move further and after the initial wave of bitching had passed – they start asking questions. They try to figure it out. At least this is what it seems like on the outside. Ha-ha! This is where it gets interesting. Excited?
As I already said – you always get the answers. Everybody does, with no exceptions. You go into reading books and articles. You research. You ask others for advice. You even pay money for the answer, which can come in form of formal education or mentorship. You say: “I just don’t know what’s wrong, what should I do? I tied EVERYTHING, but it doesn’t work.” Oh, you are such a poor thing. I almost feel bad for you.
Sooner or later you get your answer… you either find it in a book or someone tells you. It can even come from a casual conversation with a stranger or a silly radio commercial. The universe finds the most unpredictable ways to deliver the answer to you. You then know exactly what to do. You’ve got it! Detailed instruction, a manual with a step-by-step process… But you are not happy with it. You are not satisfied. WTF Dude?! You just got the response to your request. It’s in your hands now, so go ahead and do something about it. Nope, you won’t do anything… You don’t think it’s gonna work out and you hesitate to take action. I can’t understand…
All of a sudden I realized – you were not looking for the answers. You were not looking for the solution. You were looking for the EXCUSE. You are looking for an excuse not to take action. All you were searching for was the validation of why it won’t work out. You read so many books and articles just to find out why it won’t work out. What a funny man you are. You were willing to spend so much of your own and other people’s time just to find a good excuse for not doing the hard work. Stop playing this game, where you seem to be looking for answers while in fact, you’re looking for excuses. Have enough guts and admit the following. Read on loud:
When faced with a problem that requires hard work to solve – I would rather spend an infinite amount of time researching for all the ways why it won’t work out, instead of doing the job.
Even if I were given information – the exact steps to take, which will help me overcome the obstacle, I will find a way to disregard it, if the amount of work to be done exceeds my expectations.
I am searching for a good enough reason to convince myself that I need to stop doing what I am doing only because it’s hard and potentially requires more work to do than I originally expected.
The reason why it did not and/or will not work out has to be external and totally out of my control. The excuse needs to be strong enough, so nobody will get the opportunity to question my abilities.
I want others to feel sorry for myself and be compassionate towards me. I want my problem seem to be unique, and the one that no one ever faced before, therefore there is no solution to it.
How does it feel on the inside? Won’t it be easier if you ask what you need straight ahead? You will get millions of reasons why it didn’t work out for you. Asking the right questions will make your life so much easier and you won’t have to waste your time doing all this research. All the answers are up there, for those who seek. The problem is not the lack of information, the problem is in people’s minds. People don’t know themselves. They don’t know what they really want and what they are driven by. Their minds are playing games. And your fat friend says fat. He continues to look for all the reasons why not to get on the bicycle. He discovers that he might be “big-boned” and has a genetic predisposition to obesity. It just doesn’t make sense to work out and eat healthily. Anyways he will stay fat. It’s out of his control, and everyone should feel sorry for him…
“The business didn’t work out because the timing was wrong. In addition, you could not predict the economic crisis – it’s out of your control. Also, you better stop investing more money into this venture, before you went bankrupt. Go back to 9-5-thing and life a peaceful life. You tried EVERYTHING! It just didn’t work out this time. Disregard all the advice that was given to you by others. They don’t know what they are speaking about. How would they, if they never did your kind of business. Strategies in books are also not relevant. Maybe they worked for somebody else, but your case is unique. Don’t waste your time on it. I am telling you – it will not work!”
How about that for an excuse? Sound familiar? Now check this out and type in Google: “The Skiver’s Guide”. There is another book written by Addie Johnson – “The Little Book of Big Excuses: More Strategies and Techniques for Faking It”. What a brilliant man – did all the work for you.