BOOK SUMMARY: HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE. HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
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HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
Become genuinely interested in other people
“… you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get the people interested in you…”, Dale Carnegie
People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. People are interested only in what they want, not what you want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what THEY want and show them how to get it.
“… the individual who is not interested in his fellow men has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individual that all human failures spring …”, Adler
“…it is from among such individual that all human failures spring …” – interesting, isn’t it? If you enjoy writing and want to become a famous author, you first need to get interested in other people. If the author does not like people, they won’t read his or hers stories. You have to be interested in people if you want to be successful in writing stories.
To be genuinely interested in other people – is the most important quality for a salesman. For any men.
If you want to make friends, greet people with animation and a smile. Nobody wants to see your sad facial expression. Nobody wants to hear you complain. Smile! Express enthusiasm when meeting people!
” The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears”, Dale Carnegie
You will not succeed in anything you do, unless you like and enjoy doing it. You must have good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost. Drink in the sunshine. Greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp.
“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop”, Ancient Chinese Proverb
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound
One of the first Irish Catholic politicians in American history to achieve success on a national level.
Whenever he met a new person, he found out his or her complete name and some facts about his or her family, business and political opinions. Even a year later, he was able to shake hands, inquire after the family, and ask about the hollyhocks in the backyard.
The average person is more interested in his or her own name more than in all the other names on Earth put together. The policy of remembering and honoring the names of his friends and business associates was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie’s leadership.
If you didn’t hear the name distinctly. If it’s an unusual one, it is okay to ask to spell it. How is it spelled? Repeat the name several times in your mind. Try to create associations with it. Remember it.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
Pay exclusive attention to the person that talk to you. It is very important. Nothing else is so flattering than that.
Whenever somebody complains – listen to that person and let him or her express himself. Let the person enjoy himself pouring out his tirade. What that person really wants is the feeling of importance. He kicks and complains just to get the attention he desires.
If you try to make a good impression on someone – listen. Many people fail to make a favorable impression because they don’t listen attentively.
“… they have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open”, F. Marcosson.
“Very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers”, D. Carnegie.
He never listens to anyone for long. He talks incessantly about himself. If he has and idea while the other person talks, he won’t wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence. Sounds familiar? Don’t be that guy.
“To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.”, D. Carnegie.
Talk in terms of other people interests
You know that you have an important meeting tomorrow. Doesn’t matter weather it’s a business or personal meeting, there is a way to prepare. Sit down and read up on the subject in which you know your guest is particularly interested. The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.
Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
Always make the other person feel important. Desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature. People crave to be appreciated.
Jesus taught: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Give unto others what we would have others give us. All the time, everywhere.”
Use the following phrases as much as possible:
- I am so sorry to trouble you.
- Would you be so kind as to ____?
- Won’t you please?
- Would you mind?
- Thank you!