Embracing Uncertainty

Book by Susan Jeffers

Life can be wonderful, despite the uncertainty. In fact, there are those who have proven that life can be wonderful because of uncertainty! 

The only certainty is that life is uncertain! 

You want a promise that life will give you a happy marriage, lots of money, vigorous health, well-behaved, happy children, a world without conflict. There is never a way to erase the uncertainty in any area of our lives. Even if we do our very best, we cannot predict or control, even the next second of our lives, let alone how our children turn out, how our relationships will turn out, how we are treated at work, how long we will live, and on and on and on. 

The right food today is the wrong food tomorrow. Whoops! 

I have no control over the future.
I have no control over the future.
I have no control over the future. 

LET GO of any hope that you can create any certainty in your life. 

When you finally do reach that state of SURRENDER, you can’t help but feel the peace that comes when you stop trying to do the impossible. Surrender doesn’t mean giving up on your attempts to do the very best that you can; it means letting go of something over which you have no control.

I don’t have to work so hard doing the impossible . . . controlling the future. I can rest at last. 

A “deep” acceptance that life is uncertain opens the door to a powerful way of living. 

No matter how bad things may seem at any given moment. Finding the gifts minimizes even erases—the suffering. 

We would be looking for a way of being in the world that assures us that we could handle whatever life hands us. Therefore, we would live with a “bring it all on!” attitude knowing that we are prepared for anything that comes our way! 

There is a great adventure in the unknown that propels us to discover powerful parts of ourselves that we didn’t know were there. 

The trick is to learn to love the uncertainty of it all . . . to find, at last, the great satisfaction, the great joy, and the great opportunity that lies within the uncertainty. Each moment, each day, each age, each experience brings with it its own challenge. And the trick is to learn to love the uncertainty of it all. 

If we can transfer the feeling of upset, even panic, about the future into the understanding that we can learn and grow from it all, we will have made great progress. 

Even if things go wrong, we would always be the seeker rather than the victim.

“I wonder how this will all turn out.”
“I wonder what I am going to do about this.”
“I wonder what I will learn from this.” 

We can train ourselves to be adventurers instead of worriers.  Uncertainty is a very exciting thing. 

Do we want to be miserable or do we want to be excited about life? 

Wondering, on the other hand, doesn’t result in unhappiness, as there are no hopes to be shattered.  Fear of the uncertain is replaced by curiosity. 

“I wonder how this story will end.”
“I wonder how this will turn out.”
“I wonder what will happen in my life today.” 

Become the observer.
You are simply the observer of the facts and your emotions. Wondering neutralizes both hope and pessimism. It allows us to handle better what life brings us. It helps us drop our need for control of the uncontrollable, thus setting us free. 

Don’t wish for it to happen.
Don’t wish for it not to happen. 
Just watch it happen.

Let the wonder of life unfold.
Start feeling curious about how it will turn out.

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”
— Bertrand Russell 

I DON’T REALLY KNOW ANYTHING. Not-knowing mind is a clear mind. The only thing that we can know is that we know nothing and that is the highest flight of human wisdom. 

This does not mean we stop taking action to create important changes in our lives and in our world, but it does mean that we let go of how we think it’s supposed to be or how it should turn out. 

Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re wrong.
Nobody knows what the future holds.
Nobody knows the Grand Design. 

I also realized that my vision is limited. I could be right, I could be wrong. Truth is only found in the Grand Design, which none of us can see. 

When we have strong belief systems, we create boundaries in our lives. Boundaries are created by an attachment to a way of thinking as opposed to freedom of thought. Freedom of thought allows the kind of discovery that expands our world and allows us to become the best that we can be. 



Embrace the thought “It’s all happening perfectly.” 

Let’s assume someone is coming at you with a strong verbal attack. Or maybe they are just strongly disagreeing with your opinion. Say: “Tell me more. I’m interested to hear your views about this issue.” When anyone comes at you in the form of an argument, simply embrace your opponent with an openness of head and heart. “I’m curious as to why you see it that way?” “I respect your opinion. I just see the world a little differently”. Leave your ego at the door and open yourself to learning and growth. 

We all radiate an energy field that extends far beyond our physical body; that is, we don’t end where our skin ends. we can change our energy field by changing our emotions.

A real expert of the best kind will tell you, “To the best of our knowledge at the present time, this is the information we have. Future research may prove us wrong.” Know-it-alls close the door to knowing. 

Expectations, by definition, create an attachment, a yearning, a desire, a hope for something in the future to turn out a certain way. Of course, we have no control over what the future holds. Therefore, when we create expectations, we automatically become our own worst enemy. We sabotage ourselves as we set up a situation where first we “pre-worry” and then are disappointed if things don’t turn out the way we want them to. And, if things do turn out the way we want them to, we don’t have time for enjoyment because we are already “pre-worrying” about the next expectation we’ve created for ourselves. If this isn’t self-sabotage, I don’t know what is. 

Expectations create within our being an intense need to control everything and everyone in the outside world.

Instead of letting go of trying to do the impossible, what do we do? We try harder! A little bit more self-sabotage, I’d say. 

When we can let go of how it is supposed to be, we can finally relax and be more peaceful with the way it is. Expectations keep us from noticing and playing with exciting possibilities that always surround us. The irony is that while we think our expectations are giving us a measure of control, our expectations are really controlling us! 

“Not-knowing” is the path of wisdom. Here you are learning that . . . “Non-attachment” is the path of a peaceful mind. Non-attachment allows us to look at all possibilities for the future.

Understand that an expectation is a fantasy, an illusion. It has no basis in reality. We make pictures in our minds and then are upset when reality steps in. It isn’t about the “something happening” that is the problem, it’s your inability to let go of the expectation of how it’s supposed to be. 

Most problems aren’t problems.

It’s only our attachment to things being other than they are that makes them problems. Attachment brings suffering. Once we drop the attachment, the suffering falls away. 

We may have “preferences” in life; but as long as they remain preferences and not attachments, life flows. It becomes, “Oh, well . . . let’s move on,” instead of “This is terrible . . . my life is ruined.” Letting go of your attachment to getting the job. You figured that if the job was meant to be yours, it would be. If it wasn’t, there would be something else out there or maybe you were meant to be going in another direction. Therefore, if you get it, that’s great. If you don’t get it, that’s also great. 

Sometimes human beings change their minds. We cannot trust “forever.” But we can learn to trust ourselves to handle whatever happens in our lives in a powerful and loving way. If we can perceive our mates as human beings who won’t always follow our script, we can keep an open heart. 

The minute you discover what is upsetting you, close your eyes, pick up those imaginary scissors, cut the cord to the expectation behind the upset, and breathe a sigh of relief as you watch it drift off into oblivion. Then feed yourself some nourishing thoughts. “Cut the cord” and feel the freedom of non-attachment. Close your eyes. Take out those imaginary scissors in the mind, and cut the cord to that expectation. Imagine your expectation drifting off into the air until it is gone. 

“This woman is not my life. While I would enjoy seeing her again, I know I have the power to create a great life whether she calls or not. All is well.” 

“If I don’t get the job, it wasn’t for me. There are many other jobs out there and my search will teach me very valuable lessons.”

Cut the cord to your hope of getting the job and breathe a sigh of relief. 

“If I get the raise, that’s great. If I don’t get the raise, it’s okay. I will manage somehow. It might be my cue to look at other options that are out there.” 

“Few of us escape some manner of physical problems as we age. I will do my best to stay healthy and trust that I will deal beautifully with any illness that happens to come my way.” 

As you can see, professional worriers limit themselves to very brief moments of happiness. This is because thoughts of the potential future disaster immediately step in to take away the good feelings. It is a given that, when they have nothing to worry about, professional worriers invariably create something to worry about. 

The more relaxed you are relative to the outcome, the better the outcome will be. Understand that you did your best and you can’t control how other people interact or don’t interact. 

Do your best. Enjoy the work. Then let go of the outcome.

When attached to outcomes, by definition, we are attached to unhappiness. As hard as we try, as fast as we go, we can never feel the security of being in control of the outside world. When we break our attachment to our expectations of control, we become happier people. 

What if there was a way to increase the odds that you are travelling in the right direction for your highest good? Intuition. Only when we can get out of our thinking mind that we can use our intuitive mind to our greatest advantage. It can also lead us to where we need to go for a richer, fuller, more meaningful and exciting life. 

I didn’t say that your intuition will lead you where your conscious mind thinks it should go. I said that your intuition will lead you to what is for your highest good. There is a big difference. Stop thinking so hard and allow yourself to “know” what to do in any situation. Don’t think . . . just know. The cosmic psyche whispers to us softly in the gap between our thoughts. The sleeping mind is removed from the realm of the rational mind and can often be a source of great intuitive information. when the analytical mind is at rest, the intuitive mind can work its miracles. 

Create “Intention“: A strong intention is an amazing thing. It is one way of sending out those radio waves for what it is you want. I believe that when you have a strong intention, you set energy in motion. Energy in motion touches other energy in motion and remarkable things can happen. 

“If it is for my highest good, I will have it. If it is not for my highest good, I won’t.” 

When I trust that I will be led to what is for my highest good, I’m never disappointed. 

Instead of lamenting, “What should I do?”, I ask myself a much more peaceful question, “I wonder what Alexander is going to do?”. Listen to the Whispers: Once you ask your questions, catch the thoughts that whisper in your brain. 

When you don’t really know what to do, it may be wise to do nothing! It is wise to be still. Practice not making any decisions when you are confused. 

Don’t Try Too Hard to Find the Answers: If we try too hard to do anything, we get in our own way. “Trying too hard” and “flow” simply don’t go together. 

If you are obsessed that things have to be a certain way, you don’t see the doors opening up all around you. If you are not flexible and fluid, you can’t take advantage of other opportunities. You can’t even see other possibilities. 

“Whatever happens in my life, I’ll handle it. I will learn from it. I will grow from it. I will find a way to make it enrich my life.” 

You don’t worry as much about the future when you know you can handle anything. It stands to reason that knowing what the future holds isn’t as important when you know you can handle it all. When we know that we can enrich our lives with anything that happens to us . . . good or bad … all is well. I have certainly learned that it was in the handling of very difficult things in my life that gave me so much of the strength I find in myself today. 

It’s all happening perfectly, 
It’s all happening perfectly, 
It’s all happening perfectly, 
It’s all happening perfectly, 
It’s all happening perfectly, 
It’s all happening perfectly, 

I have little control in the outside world, I have much control in the “inside” world. And thoughts such as “It’s all happening perfectly,” give me that inner power. 

Everything in our lives, the good and the bad, provides great learning waiting to happen, that is if we train ourselves to embrace the learning instead of embracing the unhappiness. 

It is important to focus on the reality of cycles.

Good follow bad and bad follow good.
Life is a series of ups and downs.

It is important not to identify with the ups and downs of life; We must not be attached to the good; we must not be depressed by the bad. The ups and downs are just part of the flow of life. 

You can’t get rid of the downs and you can’t hold on to the ups. It’s much better to notice both with the understanding that “This too shall pass.”

When things are wonderful . . . this too shall pass.
When things are difficult . . . this too shall pass. 

When something is not going the way you want it to go, it doesn’t mean that it is going wrong or that you did something wrong. All you have to do is set your sights on learning everything you can learn. And one day it will all fit into place. 

A person can get used to anything . . . mentally and physically. No matter how horrible, no matter how punishing, and no matter how grotesque the situation, the human spirit can survive . . . better yet, the human spirit can reign triumphant. 

Humour is one of the Soul’s weapons in the fight for self-preservation. Take a step away from the drama, even if only for a few minutes. 

You could be freezing and not get ill. You could be around disease and not get ill. You could go without much sleep and not get ill. You could receive very little nourishment and not get ill. You could be unable to clean your teeth and have a terrible vitamin deficiency and still have healthy gums. You could be unable to clean the sores on your body and remain infection-free. 

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. 

to dream new dreams,
to ask new questions,
and to think new thoughts. 

I thank God that life is hard . . . because, in the pain, the struggle, the loneliness, and the rejection, we begin to learn. And when we learn, we grow, and when we grow, a miracle happens. We begin to change. 


SHARE THE “BLESSINGS” YOU HAVE FOUND WITH OTHERS. Talk about them … or write about them. Others will be uplifted and encouraged by your ability to make something good from something bad. 

Always remember that how we live our lives is a personal decision, not something that is put upon us from the outside world.

To know we really count is the most powerful and vital piece of information we can ever have. Our sense of meaning is the knowledge that we truly make a difference . . . that we are needed . . . that we are important . . . that our lives count for something. 

Many emotional problems exist because of a lack of a sense of meaning and purpose. “the existential vacuum.” 

There is nothing wrong with success in the material sense PLUS a sense of meaning and purpose. But without the latter, we are lost. 

“It’s not about what I want my life to be, it’s about what I can give.“

Most of us focus on what we want life to give us. In fact, it is just this kind of thinking that creates the victim mentality. “Poor me. I’m not getting what I want.” 

What do I love to do? How do I use what I love to do to help the world around me? 

Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere, but one has a heart; the other doesn’t. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you. 

Our task is simply to look around and find that someone or something and step right in. There is never a time when there is nothing for us to do. 

See what needs to be done, and do it—with excellence, integrity, pride, and gratitude that you truly are making a difference in this world. 

No matter how bad things may seem, we can ultimately make something positive out of whatever happens to us. 

We are privileged to be alive, that life is short, and we need to make the most of it. Unfortunately, most of us wake up leaving the teacup upside down, metaphorically speaking, dragging through the day, putting off life, thinking we will live forever but acting if we were already dead!

John Quincy Adams is saying that his body only holds who he is temporary. And that he will soon be changing his address. 

“Death is absolutely safe. It’s like taking off a tight shoe.”
– Ram Dass

Many of us fear the prospect of dying because we feel that life is passing us by and we haven’t as yet lived. Who wants to die before they have lived? 

“I have had this.” What this means to me is, “Life is NOT passing me by. I have enjoyed this. I have experienced this. I HAVE HAD THIS.” 

“Do I really have to work so hard or is it that I simply can’t say ‘NO’ to extra tasks I am given?”