I sold my freedom. 

At least that’s how it felt. 

I felt my heart beating when the new owner was loading my camper on his truck. I spent the last two years full-time living in it. I haven’t signed a lease for two years. I haven’t had a washing machine, nor a drier. 

I spent the entire winter of 2021 in my camper. Thought the storms, every night I slept fully dressed, with -25 Celsius outside. I remember the sound of the wind whistling and shaking the camper. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed and crying: “What am I doing here? What am I doing with my life?”. I was cold. I was lonely. I had no job and no idea what to do with myself. I was sitting in my camper in the middle of nowhere, at night, during the snowstorm. 

Some of the most profound changes happened to me ever since I left my corporate job two years ago. August 2020, is when I made a decision to radically change my life. I was not sure if #vanlife was going to work for me. It was a big decision, both — financially and mentally. I was afraid to make a permanent mistake. However, I was certain that I did not want to continue living my previous comfy life. I needed a change. I wanted to grow.

I got the truck — a six-wheel gorilla. And I got the camper — the spaceship. I sold all my belongings and kept only essentials. I went West. 

If I knew what was ahead of me, would I do it again? Probably not. It was bloody hard. Really hard. For me, the camper became a particle accelerator — a Hadron Collider. It accelerated all the good and bad processes inside of me. It forced me to grow up at a faster speed. Many deep-seated conflicts and unresolved traumas found their exit inside that camper. I found my God.

The journey I went on, was truly profound. It was awesome!

Awesome hard and awesome rewarding. I experienced a very wide range of emotions. The highest highs and the lowest lows.

Blake will miss our trips in the camper. And I will too. We crossed Canada four times. The camper was in San-Francisco, Canta Cruz, Lake Tahoe, Oregon, Coeur d’Alene. I haven’t paid rent for two years!!! This is certainly one of the best parts of it all. Over $25K saved. 

Perhaps the camperlife was just a preparation for something much greater. Perhaps I am now much more confident in my capabilities. I know that no matter what, with God’s help, I can be anything and accomplish anything. I got a taste of such a different lifestyle. I got a taste of such great freedom that not too many people have and ever will. An overwhelming sense of urgency and responsibility comes from being this free.

Selling the camper, and seeing an empty parking space next to my home made me feel sad. Blake also seemed to be quiet that evening. I was sad but some moments later — Hey! What can I do now? What would be the next adventure? Options are only limited by my imagination. 

Lance took great care of me and my dog. I am very grateful. The camper is sold, however, the memories will always stay with me.