It was a crazy week for me, at work and life. I felt drained and literally exhausted… Friday night got home pretty late from work and didn’t touch the bed until 9:30 pm.
The race took place at Annie Williams Park on Saturday morning in a small town called Bracebridge.

2:50 am wake up! The race is about two hours away and I need to be there earlier than anybody else – at 6 a.m. sharp.
I am not only racing, but my business is also one of the vendors supporting the event.

Breakfast (simple & fast)

Followed by 3 cups of coffee, I left home and headed to Bracebridge. 2-3 hours of time before the start should allow for food to process and hopefully give me energy for the upcoming race.

Arrived on time. Met with organizers. Setup the business and gave directions. Registered and checked in my bike… didn’t forget anything? Oh remember – ate another sweet potato along with Vegan Sprouted Protein Bar that was included in race kit (fatal mistake).

SWIM – 1.5 km

The Swim Course is a single loop in the Muskoka River (with the current).  It began at the main dock in Annie Williams Park.  We started in Bib Number order (Youngest to Oldest) on Five second intervals

Water temperature was around 22C or  74F and it was a wetsuit legal event! What? I swam in the river a week ago without a suit and assumed the water temperature will not be much cooler comes the race time. I didn’t bring my wetsuit and found myself being almost the only one without one. Whatever…. swimming in a wetsuit is cheating I told myself.

“49!” – Someone yelled from behind
“Here!” – I replied

“Do you mind if I take a few shots of you in water?” – race photographer asked
“Of just me? Ooookay…” – I agreed

I got confused by such inquiry, but at the same time it pleased my self-esteem. Fellow athletes turned their heads around and looked as confused as I was. Athlete behind me simply asked “Who are you?”.
I haven’t felt so special during the race before and no one asked me if they could take a photo of just me. Not sure why I deserved so much attention… Was it because I appeared to be the only one without a wetsuit?

Had a gel about 10 minutes before start and went into the water.
Felt strong. Cold water made me move faster. By the time I exit the water, all the blood left my fingers and toes so I couldn’t feel them.

BIKE – 40 km

Had only two protein bars on the bike.
Felt okay on the beginning, but shortly after, in about 15 minutes I started feeling weaker and weaker.
It seemed like everyone were passing me, making me feel even worse.
I did not want to hydrate , i did not want to fuel, I did not want to continue at all… Lost all motivation and energy.
Aftes the turnaround, at the middle mark I gave up and just said f*ck it and continued riding, barely spinning the pedals.
The second half, on the way back I was battling negative self talks and felt myself as a total loser…

RUN – 10 km


Right from the beginning, my pancreas reminded me of its presence with some ugly, pulsing spasms.

In short – it was a Sufferfest.
I wasn’t feeling great on bike, and no surprise right from the bike I continued to feel like crap.
Had a Cliff Energy gel, squeezed my teeth continuing running…

Muscles on both of my legs were hurting so bad that I found myself almost crying on the course. This was not how I expected this race to go.

Image result for tibialis anterior

Tibialis Anterior is how the muscles called I believe. I’ve had a similar experience few weeks ago, when I couldn’t even walk, not even run. This time the pain was back and amplified by multiple times.

Breathe deep
Give it 20-30 minutes, it will get better
Fuel, have a gel

I told myself

Nothing helped. I was barely jogging, almost crying and totally destroying myself mentally and physically. Negative self talk got louder and louder.

The final nail in the coffin was severe diarrhea that forced me to come to a complete stop in search for the restroom. Remember the vegan protein bar? Yes, yes…
The absence of restrooms on the course gave me two options: go in my pants or look for a bush on a side of the road.

I finished the race destroyed physically and mentally.
It seems that my sport performance continues to degrade and I have no control over it. I continue battling negative self talks and it gets hard to continue with the sport.



  1. It’s foolish to expect great athletic performance after a stressful week.
    Life happens and stressful events, work, relationship issues etc. require additional body resources and essentially harms your athletic performance.
  2. DO NOT try new nutrition on the course, ESPECIALLY something exotic like vegan protein bar.


Everything you do is because YOU CHOSE TO, not because you have to. 
NO ONE FORCES you to train every damn day. 
No one, besides your huge ego or whatever motivation you have.

You do it FOR YOURSELF, no one gives a f*ck!

Tired? Is it too hard? You don’t want to continue?
You will get zero compassion from me.
You can quit anytime you want. But for God’s sake stop complaining and winning.
No one gives a f*ck! 

Don’t forget that!