The sport requires consistency. The job requires consistency. Mastery in any field requires consistency. It is super hard to train consistently while travelling. All the training has to be done at home, wherever it is.
A nomadic lifestyle requires a lot of logistics and planning. It takes up your mental energy. You can’t expect yourself to work at your best, while constantly moving around.
2. The One Thing
SOS – shiny object syndrome. There is an epidemic of ADHD in the World. People grab what’s shiny and run with it. Until they drop it… Then they move to the next and next and next. They leave a trail of unfinished work behind them. I don’t want to be that. I am tired of chasing my tail. I am tired of searching.
I want to find that ONE THING that I can be exceptionally good at. I want to specialize in one thing and be known for it. I want to find out what is it that I can do better than anyone else. Period. I want my work to be in the top 10 in the World. I want to find my jam. I want to create. I want to flow. Find my Zone and stay there until I drop dead. I put my ego aside and ask the Universe: What is it that I can be exceptionally good at? I don’t need what’s trendy. I don’t care if it’s sexy or not. I just want to know – Is there is something that I can do exceptionally well? Am I capable of creating something beautiful? I want to know. I surrender to God to show me. I promise to accept my gift for what it is. I promise not to judge the gift that I was given. I did not create myself, so who am I to judge? Whatever gave me life – WHY? With all my heart, I want you to give me the task. The task that only me and a couple of other men and women can do.
Maybe I just want to feel special. Yes, I do. It sounds like I go through an identity crisis. Show me the way. Give me a sign or a hint of something that will lead me to my calling. I will try from happiness when I find my door. I promise not to brag. I promise not to take for granted your gifts. I promise not to turn away from those in need. What do you want me to do?
3. Am I climbing the wrong mountain?
Whenever I set myself a goal – I go all out. I am a black or white person.
Training has become a full-time job for me. I stopped enjoying it. Wait. Pause. Reset. Why do you still do it if you don’t enjoy it? Is someone holding a gun to your head? Why did you decide on triathlon? What if there is something different that you should be doing? What if this is just a preparation for what’s coming?
I want to become world-class. But is it really what you want? Alex is more than a physical body. I am an intellectual person. I like to think. I like to work with my brain. Becoming World-class in triathlon will require a lot of sacrifices. I can not give my 100% self to mental work AND physical. Something will have to give. I’ve been gifted a sharp mind. Am I willing to put my mind to the side and focus all my energy on training? No. I know myself. If I don’t learn, if I don’t load my mind with challenging tasks – I destroy myself. No matter how good my training is, I will still have the need to let my mind work. What if my sport is mental and not physical? What if I’ve been climbing the wrong mountain? No-no, I will not drop the sport. Perhaps I need to reduce the intensity. Maybe I need to shift my focus a bit and be okay with not being a professional athlete. Still train. Still exercise, but know that your game is a mental game. Physical exercise and sport are not the end stop. Sport is here to support me, but not to consume me.
If I didn’t kill myself in training and racing, maybe I could stay fit for life. Maybe I won’t stand on the podium in my thirties, but I will enjoy every race and stay active in my seventies and eighties. I need to prioritize health over results. I need to do it for pure enjoyment and not the medal that means nothing. Save your body. Love your body. You are in a mental game, not the physical. Find ways to challenge your mind the way you challenge your body. Use the sport to support your mental game, not harm it.