Manage disturbing feelings

Every feeling and emotion we experience have its meaning, so don’t ever try to suppress unpleasant emotions. Life without ups and downs, without passion would be boring. To stay psychologically healthy, we need to keep distressing emotions in check by not letting them to gain control over our lives and act appropriately to circumstances. The goal here is not to control when we feel certain way, but for how long we stay in that condition.

Anger

Anger is triggered by the sense of being in danger. This sense of danger can be perceived in different ways, such as: threat to self-esteem; being treated rudely; being insulted or frustrated.

  • Look at the situation from the positive side;
  • Challenge the thoughts that triggered the anger initially;
  • Cool off physiologically by giving yourself some time (go for a walk; be alone);
  • Use the skill of self-awareness. Catch the feeling as it arises, then reframe the situation or challenge it;
  • Don’t let the anger out. By giving your anger power and expressing it is not effective and it will make you feel even worse;

Anxiety

In the core of anxiety is the worry that something might go wrong and you’re not ready to deal with it. People anticipate the dangers before they even arise, and ofter they never do.

  • Shift your attention away;
  • Be self-aware. Catch the worrisome sensations at the very beginning as they arise;
  • Challenge the worrisome thought. Be critical and assess the actual chances of it happening;

Sadness

Sadness or melancholy drains all the energy out of us and makes us feel tired and apathetic. Depressed people tend to lock in within themselves, justifying by the attempt to “understand themselves better”. In fact, by passively immersing into sadness, they make things worse by fueling the negative feeling.

  • Don’t stay alone, get out!
  • Challenge the thoughts at the core of sadness. Think of how valid they are and attempt to look from the different angle;

Mood-lifting tools

Cry! Crying is the nature’s way of lowering levels stress. “Good crying” could break the sadness, if done properly. It has to be intense, BUT short. Cry your ass off, take as much time as you need, but after you done, you have no right to feel sad and sorry for yourself.

Aerobic exercise is one of the most effective tools for fighting depressing feelings and bad moods. Go out for a run, fast walk or bicycle ride.

Distraction breaks the chain of sadness, while allow you to maintain thinking. The most effective distractions, are the ones that lift your mood. They could be: reading a book, watching a movie, video games, puzzles or sleeping.

Plan a small win. Engineer an easy success by completing the task from your to do list that you’ve been setting aside for a while. Cheer yourself up by treats or sensual pleasures. You can also try dressing up in your fanciest clothes.

Help others. Volunteering, such as feeding the homeless or coaching small kids, is one of the most effective tools in battling depression. It is also one of the rarest.

Pray. You don’t need to believe in god or be religious to pray. A study published in Sociology of Religion suggests that prayer can ease people’s anxiety and help alleviate worries. Don’t ask, just pray.

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