Pushing harder does not work. I’m stuck and the harder I press on gas pedal, the faster and deeper I dig myself into the hole. Mud and smoke. Sweat and tears.
I am sure there are other athletes who struggle with similar issues. I respect those who did not give up and just like me, looking for solutions.
I begin my investigation with a series of blog posts on Overtraining. I will dig deeper and try to find causes as well as solutions. I learn from this “failure” and bounce back stronger than ever before. My posts will describe this “journey” in details and Ihope that my finding will help others who is facing similar challenges. Together we will rock the sport of triathlon!
Athletes from all over the world had races scheduled in the United States. Now, that restriction caused by pandemic lighten up, the races start happening again. Ironman recently made the following announcement:
Announcement:
We appreciate your continued patience and understanding while we have been developing options for you during this very dynamic time. After assessing all event scenarios, we are pleased to share with you the new race date and location for the 2020 IRONMAN Texas triathlon which is now scheduled to take place on October 17, 2020 in Waco, Texas as part of a festival weekend with the 2020 Bicycle World Texas IRONMAN 70.3 Waco triathlon on October 18, 2020.
That’s great news! Pack your bags, we are going to RACE! … wait a sec. You are not from US? Canada? Mexico? Europe? If so, then there might be some problems… If you’re outside of United States of America and want to come to attend a sporting event, consult with US Border officials. COVID-19 changed the way we travel.
I did the work for you and sent a letter to U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) Information Center. I explained that I’ve got the Ironman Texas coming and I really want to be there. Can I go? Would you let me into the country?
Information for guidance on travelling to the United States from Canada
COVID-19 Related Travel Restrictions across the U.S. Borders with Canada and Mexico
The United States will temporarily limit inbound land border crossings from Canada and Mexico to “essential travel”.
U.S. citizens, lawful permanent residents and certain other travellers are exempt from this action.
The following categories DO NOT fall within the definition of “essential travel:”
Individuals travelling for tourism purposes, such as sightseeing, recreation, gambling, or attending cultural events in the United States. (Ironman or any other sporting event included)
Who is considered an “essential” traveler?
Citizens and lawful permanent residents returning to the United States.
Individuals traveling for medical purposes (e.g., to receive medical treatment in the United States).
Individuals traveling to attend educational institutions.
Individuals traveling to work in the United States (e.g., individuals working in the agriculture industry who must travel between the United States and Canada or Mexico in furtherance of such work).
Individuals traveling for emergency response and public health purposes (e.g., government officials or emergency responders entering the United States to support federal, state, local, tribal, or territorial government efforts to respond to COVID-19 or other emergencies).
Individuals engaged in lawful cross-border trade (e.g., truck drivers supporting the movement of cargo between the United States and Canada and Mexico).
Individuals engaged in official government travel or diplomatic travel.
Individuals engaged in military-related travel or operations.
This action does not apply to air, rail, or sea travel at this time, but does apply to commuter rail and ferry travel.
I am gonna have to miss the Ironman Texas… you probably too. Sorry bud.
To remind myself. So important to remind myself to slow down, look in the rear mirror and give yourself compassionate smile; to pat myself on a back and say “Good job partner!”; to shut down my mouth and open my eyes.
Three months to think, to reflect, to dig deep into myself. Physical pain is catalyst of many mental processes and quickly reminds you of main things in life. That Ironman race in Lake Placid could’ve been my last one… Looking back, it was a scary accident that could’ve put me into the coffin or at least make me disabled. It did not. It was a lesson, not the exam. A bad student was given a chance to try again. I like to think that I learned the lesson, however I also realize that the fact I allow myself to think so, proves me wrong.
It is comforting to think that the accident is over and I took the most of it and took good notes. I can turn the page now. Or I should rathe ask: Can I turn the page now?
“You can, but after you pass the exam.”
Two years ago I spent Thanksgiving with my friend in Austin, Texas. Jim signed us both for the annual Turkey Trot — fundraising event. Just starting my training/racing journey, I ran 8 kilometers in 41 minutes averaging 8 minute/mile. I ran it for fun, however competitive bug in me pushed me faster than I planned. It was a good run.
“Hey Sasha, we want you come join us for Thanksgiving this year. Will also run the Turkey Trot. The race we did two years ago, remember?”
— Jim called.
Of course I did remember and of course I would love to spend this family holiday among the people who care about me. “Hey Sasha, we want you come join us for Thanksgiving this year “ — Jim called. “Will also run the Turkey Trot. The race we did two years ago, remember?” Of course I did remember and of course I would love to spend this family holiday among the people who care about me.
“You NEED to make this race your “coming back race”. You HAVE to win your age group!!! You MUST push yourself as hard as only possible!”
— familiar voice popped up in my mind.
Hmm…. Sounds familiar. Heavy claws fell on my shoulders and immediately I recognized him… He’s back.
Sasha — the Ironman is now talking. That Sasha who almost killed me not that long ago on the course in September. I realized who was talking and the table turned. I was flashing the awareness light right into his face. Awareness gave me the right of choice. Remain a puppet of my Ego or take the captain’s post…
Yes, I will run! Of course, I will push myself hard! However, this time I will do it not because I HAVE TO or MUST, but because I CHOOSE TO. I choose to train and compete; I choose to enjoy every step I take. Now I know that every single race could be the last one and every experience is so unique and precious.
The ultimate failure in life is to achieve everything you wanted but still not find the happiness. No matter in what place you finish the race, you always lose if you did not enjoy it. It worth repeating:
No matter how well you perform, you are the ultimate loser if you did not enjoy it.
The ultimate failure in anything you do is to finish first and unhappy.
I learned to be careful setting the goals for myself. No hard numbers, no unrealistic expectations. Instead of making a statement and demanding a certain result from my body, I now ask. I ask my body: how fast can you do it, considering the circumstances? Bike accident, surgery, no training for 8–9 weeks…ups and downs. Considering all those facts, what my finishing time could be? What is the fittest you can get on a few weeks of training?
I’ve had three weeks to somewhat prepare for the run. Three weeks before the race, my surgeon allowed to resume light training and I immediately met with my coach to announce my 8 kilometers intention. Renee supported me, however warned to not set high expectations. I know, I know Renee… This is the lesson I needed to learn.
Only so few running workouts to get in shape. Each of them counts.
The work is done. I’m at the race venue. I feel so much energy. The fire within is searching for a way out. I am so grateful to be in this city, I am so grateful to be young, strong and healthy!!! I am so happy to be able to move my body, to see all this people around me, to smell the fresh morning air. So glad to be back at the start line and feel the competition.
Even the fact that I missed the start of my wave bounced off my mind and didn’t screw my mood in any way. I would run anyways, timed or not timed, rain or snow, hail or meteorite shower. I flew to the starting line, hoped over the fence and hit the start button on my watch.
Go!
I pushed it hard… and I pushed it hard again. I enjoyed every moment of the race. I loved the burning feeling in my legs and the heart pumping in my chest. Finished strong and hit the stop button.
Looked at the watch:
8.3 kilometers – 33 minutes 4 min/km 6 min/mi
Yes! Fuck yeah! So grateful, so grateful. I am back! I am alive! Mission complete…. Celebrate
It’s so important to remember all the lessons that life teaches you. It is so easy to fall back into the usual model of thinking and responding to the world.
Winter is coming and all Canadian Bears submerge in their caves. Me too. Me and Blake decided to shuffle around several things in our lives and cut out unnecessary things. To spend the winter I found a dark, cozy cave for us – a pain cave. Unlike bears, I won’t have time to sleep this winter – I’ll be busy engineering an athlete. Spring 2020 will see the new Sasha Ironman – Version 2.0.
After the recent follow up appointment with my doctor, I received a clearance to resume training. Two months of no training will definitely reduce your fitness level. The question is: by how much? There is a way to test your fitness level at any given moment and it’s called VO₂ Max Test. This is a lab-based test and is considered the ‘gold standard’ for identifying an athletes oxygen carrying capability.
VO₂ Max is the maximum rate of oxygen consumption measured during incremental exercise; that is, exercise of increasing intensity. The name is derived from three abbreviations: “V” for volume, “O₂” for oxygen, and “Max” for maximum.
To give the answer by how much two months off training will lower your fitness level you need to have done at least two tests: before & after. I haven’t had a chance to test myself before, therefore there is nothing to compare against. However by doing the Test now, I set a baseline point which I will use as reference.
Come Prepared
Refrain from exercise and consuming coffee, nicotine and other stimulants in the four hours before your appointment.
Have only a light breakfast on the morning of your appointment (<300 calories). If your appointment is in the afternoon, have a light breakfast and a light lunch.
Ensure you are hydrated for your tests. Consume 250-500 ml of water or non-caffeinated beverages on the morning of your test.
Stop consuming fluids an hour before your visit.
Know what to Expect
It’s a graded step test, where the resistance of the rainer will gradually lift the power until you can no longer pedal.
We started the test at 100 watts, with the power output increasing by 20 watts every minute.
The idea is to keep going to failure to obtain your max heart rate and maximum oxygen intake.
Ideally the test will last 12 minutes, which is long enough for you to get warmed up but not overly long, so external factors come into play that could fatigue the body and skew the results.
To get the most accurate data I brought my TT bike for this. Right away it was placed on a smart Wahoo Kickr cycling trainer. Martin – an instructor – will set the power output and will also have visibility into all my live data as I’m riding.
Chest Heart Rate Strap + hooked into a mask and a flow metre which directly analyses oxygen consumption and sends comprehensive physiological data to the separate machine.
Usually the test performed only one, however I felt like I didn’t give it all the first time, so I asked Martin to redo the test. I was wondering if I could push more. That’s why there will be two reports following the test.
Aerobic Zone (Fat Burning): <110 bpm Anaerobic Zone (Cardio Training): >140 bpm “Grey” Zone: 120 – 130 bpm
What did I learn?
It was interesting looking at the repeated testing. VO₂ Max score for the second test is lower, while heart rate is higher. We can see a higher heart rate across the power curve in the second test, suggesting that I was not in a rested state at the start of this test (10 minutes rest in between).
Also, the cross-over heart rate (when you reach 50/50 carbs/fat utilization) was 13 BPM higher during the second test. This suggests I stayed burning fat longer in the second test. Martin suggests that the first test depleted glucose levels, so I was forced to draw more on stored fat during the second test.
Now that I’ve set the baseline, I need to have a plan on where to go and what to do next. I feel like the way I’ve been training before did not allow me to perform at my best and fully open up my potential. I have more, I can do better. With that in mind, I was to change several things and see where it leads. Goals:
Improve VO2 Max score as a result of increased cycling fitness
Improve FTP from 267W (April 2019) to at least 300W (April 2020)
How will I achieve the goals?
Training Plan. I am hiring a new cycling coach – Mr. Igor.
Change the approach to training. Mental change…
Better utilize experience and knowledge of nutrition, hydration and recovery, specifically around athletic performance.
Work smarter – not harder. Whenever feel stuck, instead of beating yourself up to death, seek for help. Ask questions.
Amen…
Special thanks to Martin, and his offer to perform the test at his lab Body Insight | Toronto. It was a blast and I can not wait to come back again for the follow up test few months later.
Today I met with my surgeon to see how the recovery is going. I was secretly hoping to hear it goes better than expected and I can return to my training.
X-Ray pictures, then range of motion assessment… impressive! What?
October 29 (4 weeks later)October 1st
Indeed, I’m healing really fast and haven’t lost any mobility in the shoulder. In fact I am moving so well, that when I asked about physiotherapy he smiled and asked Why? He said I already do the things people usually can’t in this stage of recovery. He also allowed me to slowly get back to the training, however warned me about lifting weights and stay away from it. Swimming, Running, Cycling? Yes, Sir!
What contributed to such fast recovery?
1. Continuous movement. I haven’t stopped moving and every day I would find a way to keep the blood flowing. My arm can’t move, but the legs can. Walk, walk, walk… a lot of walking. Blake might’ve cut a few pounds from putting so many steps.
2. Nutrition. I always stay on top of my nutrition and closely look what I put into my body. Clean, nutritiously rich foods sure helped with recovery by delivering all the necessary building blocks.
3. Attitude. It was not always bright and positive. In fact, I went through a lot of frustration and it got pretty ugly at time. During those time I haven’t stopped reminding myself that it will not last forever and it’s a good mental training.
4. Support. Mental support from the people around helped me to see a better future and find the positives in situation. Knowing that there’s is someone you can ask for help gives hope.
Would I do anythingdifferently?
This is a tough question to answer. I don’t think I would do anything differently… Maybe just working on cutting the negative thoughts and emotions. However without having those dark periods I won’t feel so good right now. No, I won’t change anything. All was good! Couldn’t get any better.
I am so happy and grateful for recovering so fast, so well. I am grateful for everyone who helped me along the way. A huge Thank you!!!
It’s been though, it’s been painful, but it was a good mental training. Time to roll up the sleeves and get back to business! Watch me evolve…
Sport of Triathlon is expensive AF. Triathlon bike is probably one the biggest expenses that you will have to make as it may give you the most advantage on the course.
People often spend ridiculous amounts of money on their two-wheeled buddies, but totally forget about the main component of getting faster. I believe that the major gains in speed are being made investing in the engine, that pushes the pedals. For every hundred dollars spent on bike, you got to put another two hundred hours spent in training. Improving the bike will help you only so much, but your body is where all the gains need to occur.
Having said that I’ve been still wondering, how much speed can you actually get on a more expensive “fancy” bike? Why do people spend thousands of dollars on their bikes? Does it make sense?
To answer this questions I went on a ride, comparing three bikes:
I rode the same stretch of the hilly road, totaling of 45 km (28 mi)
Both TT bikes are ridiculously faster than my old road bike on the same stretch of the road (45 km). Argon 18 is the fastest and it’s almost 30 minutes faster than my old bike. Aquila is 5 minutes slower than Argon, but it worth considering that I ran race wheels on Argon, while the other one had a set of training wheels on. I am pretty sure that Aquila would go as fast as Argon on the same set of wheels.
Argon 18 E117
To be honest it was a love from the first sight. More about purchasing and the price I payed for this used bike is here.
Below are snapshots taken from Strava. 34 records were set on Argo, averaging 227 Watts (guesstimate calculated by strava software).
– I can not continue like this… ENOUGH! – I am sick to my stomach.
Few days ago, after the awful bike performance, I said to myself ENOUGH! I decided I will do something different. I can’t continue like this any longer…
The things I did differently for this workout: Instead of training in the morning, I moved it to the afternoon. I was hoping it will give my body enough time to hydrate and fuel up.
Had a big breakfast and lunch: 1,130 Calories: 180C/27F/47P Rice 300g Oatmeal 100g Grapefruit 4 eggs
Took a 1 hour nap, hoping it will help perform at my best. Woke up feeling ok.
Went on the bike, and almost right from the beginning felt like crap. Please no… As I was gradually building up to 180W, at 130W I already felt that something’s off. I could not keep 180W for 10 minutes… I can’t believe it. I am back into this hole again. I am so disappointed and sick from failing over and over. Since April, since freaking April I’ve been suffering with my trainings, specifically on the bike. I can’t take these hits anymore. I broke down emotionally… Tears streamed down my cheeks. I HATE this bike! I HATE myself! What the f*ck is wrong with me? I dismounted off the bike and layed on the ground with no energy to even move my finger. All I did was cried. Not just cried like a little girl, but cried my ass off. I felt sorry for myself, I felt so disappointed, I felt discouraged to do anything… not only train, but I did not want to live anymore. I layed on the floor for several minutes and cried. Everything in my life seemed to be wrong, I felt myself as a total loser, failing on all accounts. Suicidal thoughts would come and go. I knew I needed to get outside of my head and let it all out. Only two people that came to my mind at that moment were my father and my coach. I needed to talk. I called my dad, but he was busy with his wife. I didn’t want to interrupt him from time spending with his lovely wife and dump my emotional truck full of crap into his ears. I lied that everything’s alright and I’ll call him later. I began typing text message to my coach Renee, but never sent it. It’s a middle of the day, she is busy.
– Ok, Sasha, what do we do now?
4 options I saw at the moment:
Quit and count your losses. Tell yourself that this sport is just not for you and convince yourself that there other things in life that matter more. Also you can add that you achieved quite a bit and it’s time to move on. Easy option.
Blameothers. Blame your coach for digging yourself into this hole and find another coach or train on your own. By doing so I move responsibility for the way I feel and perform onto other people. Easy option.
Try to change your state with food, alcohol, sleeping, drugs etc. It will help, but only short term. Within few hours your will feel even worse than before. Easy option.
Pick yourself up and take full responsibility for the way you feel and perform. Go back on your bike and complete the damn workout to the best of your abilities.
I completed the workout to the best of my abilities… While barely pushing 130W I got the opportunity to think. I think better when my blood is flowing fast.
Every failure is the opportunity and I will use this failure to learn from it.
I will learn what caused such performance decline over the past several months. Knowing this will help me prevent future failing occurrences and I will have more great trainings over just a few poor.
I will learn how to bring myself back up to performance levels prior to this and I will use this knowledge to move beyond that. Overcoming this challenge will show me that I can do anything I put my mind into. I will also develop a coping mechanism that I can use in the future. It will help me re-build my self-confidence and self-esteem after so many failures.
I will help other people to overcome similar challenges by sharing my personal experience and what I learned from my failures.
Pushing harder does not work. I’m stuck and the harder I press on gas pedal, the faster and deeper I dig myself into the hole I’m in. Mud and smoke. Sweat and tears.
I am sure there are other athletes who struggle with similar issues. I respect those who did not give up and chose the option #4. Just like me, they are looking for solutions.
I begin my investigation with a series of blog posts on Overtraining. I will dig deeper and try to find causes as well as solutions. I learn from this “failure” and bounce back stronger than ever before. My posts will describe this “journey” in details and Ihope that my finding will help others who is facing similar challenges. Together we will rock the sport of triathlon!
Luckily we live in the world where we have access to technology that allows us to measure different body metrics. This is especially helpful for athletes who are looking to understand their bodies more. Of course, you should not solely rely on your watch or some sensor data and primarily go by the feel. I use sensor data to find correlations between the way I feel and perform. It also allows me to learn my body faster, rather than going blind, solely relying on my internal subjective data.
TrainingPeaks is a software platform I use to analyze the data collected and my training.
Performance decline I experience seem to be mostly noticeable in my cycling training.
My bike performance peaked around March 19′ and after that gradually went down. The screenshot above shows my 1 hour peak power for each months, starting from February 2019.
60 minute power March: 270 Watts Today: 189 Watts
Power Loss: ~80 Watts
March vs August
According to Training Peaks, my Power profile is at the world class level. This is definitely encouraging, but I definitely don’t feel like International Pro at the moment.
Around April, after few miserable workouts, my coach started to reduce my Training Load gradually, hoping that it will give my body the opportunity to recover. Since then my overall training load was cut more than in half. Did not help and we’ve got what we’ve got.
VO2 Max
This is another metric that worth paying attention to. The trend here is not as promising as I would like it to be either.
It is obvious now that I am doing worth than in early Spring. Slowly, over the span of 5 months my performance been into the free fall. Something needs to change.
The past two years I’ve been training and racing on my 2003 Specialized Allez. I bought it for $300 from Craigslist, while in Phoenix. It got me through a lot. People laugh at me and keep on saying that I should throw it away and get a normal bike. I believe that the only thing that will make you faster in the layer in between the seat and handlebars (yourself). The thought of investing in TT bike been circulating in my head for the past 3-4 months, but I’ve been resisting. I am cheap AF. I count every penny and I am fascinated my the cost of triathlon bikes. A long story short I have finally decided to purchase my first TT bike.
I have zero knowledge about bikes and seeking for advice. I am lost in variety of options and need assistance picking Reliable, USED TT bike. I figured that instead of guessing and talking to salespeople I would ask other triathletes for suggestions.
Success Criteria: 1. I would like to keep the price tag under $2,000 (most likely used), however I will also consider more expensive bikes if they worth it. 2. I don’t care if it’s an older model, what the brand is etc. I choose the bike with the only goal in mind – to get faster and kick some ass on the bike course =) 3. It has to be reliable. 4. Ideally it will already have power meter built in.
Utilize social media. I suggest that you use your local triathlon club Facebook groups, Strava or any social media to get advice from other triathletes. Just mention that you are in a market for a new TT bike, give your search criteria and wait. Even if nobody from your friends sell the bike, there are good chances that they know someone who does.
It’s obviously hard to judge TT bike without riding it for a few hours, but just sitting on it stationary felt good. 54 cm size frame is definitely what I need.
Size Medium: 54 cm Included: Training Wheels: AXIS 2.0 Race Wheels: Zipp 808 10 spd adapted for 11 spd setup (no cassette) $2200 for bike without Zipps
Option 3
ARGON 18 E-117 TRI – ULTEGRA Di2
PRICE: guess
By the weirdest circumstances I got connected with Dennis – the owner on Racer Sportif. I rented demo bike from him and returned it back scratched (more details here).
…I brought the bike back in and I didn’t wait until the owner discovered the damage on his own. I went ahead and showed all the scratches… I explained how it happened and said that I appreciate the opportunity to test ride the bike and will cover all the repair costs in full. It was a lot of money for me. Repair costs: $450. I lost the money, BUT I saved my face and acted as a gentleman. More importantly I saved relationship with Dennis – the owner…
We had a great time chatting with him and he mentioned that he might have a used Argon 18 coming in later that week that might be a good fit for me… and it was.
Size Medium: 54 cm Included Extra: Brand new Shimano Ultegra with electronic shifters Di2 Carbon Wheels: RS Real Speed Custom Racing Seat *3-year warranty on both: bike and equipment
Did I like the bike? HELL YEAH To be honest I fell in love with the way it not only looked, but mainly the way it felt sitting or I would say half-laying on it.
Now the main question: HOW MUCH?
Any guesses?
Just to give you and idea of what the price is on brand new Argon 18 E117 Tri:
Just to remind you that I am buying a used ~1-2 years old bike with brand new Di2 system installed and tuned at the shop, professional bike fitting ($200-300) AND 3-year warranty on both – bike and all the equipment.
Drumbeat….
$3,750 (tax included)
That’s the winner. I am a happy owner of Argon 18 TT bike and I pick it up early next week. The price is almost twice higher than $2,000 I set the original criteria on, but I believe it well worth it. Reviews I read online and people I talked to, all confirmed the reliability of Argon bikes, so plus here. It does not come with power meter, but it is still a great price even without it.
I will make another post, sharing my experience with new TT bike and give my honest feedback. Let me know what you think! Cheers
It was a crazy week for me, at work and life. I felt drained and literally exhausted… Friday night got home pretty late from work and didn’t touch the bed until 9:30 pm. The race took place at Annie Williams Park on Saturday morning in a small town called Bracebridge.
2:50 am wake up! The race is about two hours away and I need to be there earlier than anybody else – at 6 a.m. sharp. I am not only racing, but my business is also one of the vendors supporting the event.
Breakfast (simple & fast)
Followed by 3 cups of coffee, I left home and headed to Bracebridge. 2-3 hours of time before the start should allow for food to process and hopefully give me energy for the upcoming race.
Arrived on time. Met with organizers. Setup the business and gave directions. Registered and checked in my bike… didn’t forget anything? Oh remember – ate another sweet potato along with Vegan Sprouted Protein Bar that was included in race kit (fatal mistake).
SWIM – 1.5 km
The Swim Course is a single loop in the Muskoka River (with the current). It began at the main dock in Annie Williams Park. We started in Bib Number order (Youngest to Oldest) on Five second intervals
Water temperature was around 22C or 74F and it was a wetsuit legal event! What? I swam in the river a week ago without a suit and assumed the water temperature will not be much cooler comes the race time. I didn’t bring my wetsuit and found myself being almost the only one without one. Whatever…. swimming in a wetsuit is cheating I told myself.
“49!” – Someone yelled from behind “Here!” – I replied
“Do you mind if I take a few shots of you in water?” – race photographer asked “Of just me? Ooookay…” – I agreed
I got confused by such inquiry, but at the same time it pleased my self-esteem. Fellow athletes turned their heads around and looked as confused as I was. Athlete behind me simply asked “Who are you?”. I haven’t felt so special during the race before and no one asked me if they could take a photo of just me. Not sure why I deserved so much attention… Was it because I appeared to be the only one without a wetsuit?
Had a gel about 10 minutes before start and went into the water. Felt strong. Cold water made me move faster. By the time I exit the water, all the blood left my fingers and toes so I couldn’t feel them.
BIKE – 40 km
Had only two protein bars on the bike. Felt okay on the beginning, but shortly after, in about 15 minutes I started feeling weaker and weaker. It seemed like everyone were passing me, making me feel even worse. I did not want to hydrate , i did not want to fuel, I did not want to continue at all… Lost all motivation and energy. Aftes the turnaround, at the middle mark I gave up and just said f*ck it and continued riding, barely spinning the pedals. The second half, on the way back I was battling negative self talks and felt myself as a total loser…
RUN – 10 km
WARNING – STRONG LANGUAGE
Right from the beginning, my pancreas reminded me of its presence with some ugly, pulsing spasms.
In short – it was a Sufferfest. I wasn’t feeling great on bike, and no surprise right from the bike I continued to feel like crap. Had a Cliff Energy gel, squeezed my teeth continuing running…
Muscles on both of my legs were hurting so bad that I found myself almost crying on the course. This was not how I expected this race to go.
Tibialis Anterior is how the muscles called I believe. I’ve had a similar experience few weeks ago, when I couldn’t even walk, not even run. This time the pain was back and amplified by multiple times.
“Breathe deep Give it 20-30 minutes, it will get better Fuel, have a gel“
– I told myself
Nothing helped. I was barely jogging, almost crying and totally destroying myself mentally and physically. Negative self talk got louder and louder.
The final nail in the coffin was severe diarrhea that forced me to come to a complete stop in search for the restroom. Remember the vegan protein bar? Yes, yes… The absence of restrooms on the course gave me two options: go in my pants or look for a bush on a side of the road.
I finished the race destroyed physically and mentally. It seems that my sport performance continues to degrade and I have no control over it. I continue battling negative self talks and it gets hard to continue with the sport.
RACE RESULTS
LESSONS LEARNED
It’s foolish to expect great athletic performance after a stressful week. Life happens and stressful events, work, relationship issues etc. require additional body resources and essentially harms your athletic performance.
DO NOT try new nutrition on the course, ESPECIALLY something exotic like vegan protein bar.
REPEAT AFTER ME
Everything you do is because YOU CHOSE TO, not because you have to. NO ONE FORCES you to train every damn day. No one, besides your huge ego or whatever motivation you have.
You do it FOR YOURSELF, no one gives a f*ck!
Tired? Is it too hard? You don’t want to continue? You will get zero compassion from me. QUIT! You can quit anytime you want. But for God’s sake stop complaining and winning. No one gives a f*ck!
THIS IS YOUR LIFE YOU DECIDE HOW YOU LIVE Don’t forget that!
