How many times did you go fully into something? How many times did you risk it all? How many times were you so scared, that you prayed to God? Not many…
You want to play it safe. You always have a backup plan. “If this happens, then I’ll do that…” You have your parent’s house, where you can always wait out. There, you will be fed and taken care of. That’s the luxury I don’t have. Your life is safe and comfortable. You live as if you have infinite time on this planet. If you don’t think so, then what are you waiting for? This day may be your last day on this planet. You strive to live a balanced life. Rosy cheeks, little belly, perfect haircut and a pair of brand new white Converse. Disgusting…
Do you know what’s also disgusting? – Making promises that you never keep. You can lie to others, but stop lying to yourself.
A man is only as good as his word
You are a perfectionist. You always need to do everything perfectly right. Apples to apples, everything in perfect order. It only slows you down. Forget the need to be perfect. Do anything to stay off debt. Putting financial pressure and the need to be perfect kills creativity. It shuts the brain off and all you can think of is where the next paycheck is going to come from.
Once you decide to do something – commit. How many times in your life did you commit to one thing? One thing, at the exclusion of everything else. Not too many. You want it all. You are afraid to miss out. FOMO is rear.
You need to trust in your own abilities. If you don’t believe that you can accomplish what you set to do, then why do? Damit dude, if you don’t believe in yourself, why should I? No one cares. You need to trust in your creative abilities. You need to trust in yourself. You can stand next to the mirror and repeat all day long: I can do it. That’s nothing but masturbation. Disgusting. You either do it or not! If it’s going to be a failure, I would rather fail fast and get over it.
I constantly fighting the self-doubt in my head. “Fuck you”, I tell myself every time I get that voice telling me what’s possible and what’s not. That’s the voice of my parents, teachers, high school bullies and bosses. “I set the rules in my life. I decide what to do and when to do. I determine what’s possible or not.”
Trust in yourself
Since childhood, we’ve been taught that the harder you work – the better of a student/ worker you are. Bullshit! Struggling and suffering are not necessary for creating something great. You can’t create anything great if you are miserable.
Suffering is optional
To have the courage to go against the norm. To be brave to take on the chances. To leave the comfort. To disappear. To be wrong. To make mistakes. To fuck it all up. To upset other people. To make others cry and yell at you. To be named all kinds of names. Do you have the balls to go fully into one thing and be wrong? Do you have the balls to announce to the entire world something that will be known to be completely wrong? Are you strong enough to lose everything that you value? In fact, what do you have to lose? You are afraid. You are full of fear.
Your fear is boring
Your fear is boring. It is predictable and it is the same from day-to-day. Your fear is always making predictable decisions. It always tells you one thing: Stop! Stop, stop. It does not rationalize or think logically. It’s a stupid, stubborn, fat neighbour that you live with. It always tells you what to do… because it cares for you. It tries to prevent its little pet from hurting himself. The fear knows all the rules you need to follow, but even better than that, it knows the outcomes of breaking those rules. Your fear is not unique. It wears what’s in style, just so you don’t stand out. Your fear is nothing but a mass-produced item, available on the shelves of every store. A byproduct of evolution that made survival possible. They won’t kill you. They won’t eat you… but you are still afraid.
They won’t kill you
They won’t eat you
You are afraid to fully invest in one thing. Getting inspired by the idea is both exciting and scary. Now you need to decide whether to pursue it or let it pass. The idea is big and it will require all your time and energy. You know that if you go fully in, you will have to say no to the rest. Don’t try to sit on two chairs with one ass. Your curiosity won’t let you pass on the new exciting idea, but your fear won’t let you fully dedicate yourself either. You try to play it safe – do it on the side. You don’t have enough time. You need to pay the bills. Half-heartedly you do something, just to prove that it won’t work. You are weak.
you can’t sit on two chairs with one ass
You were an almost straight “A” student at school. Teachers told your parents that you could easily be one of the best students… only if you were interested in studying. An average student at University. 3.95 GPA in graduate school. Almost… Almost first in triathlons and endurance racing. Came in fourth, third, second places… Almost good enough. Almost started successful businesses, almost profitable. Enough! I know for a fact that there is something that you can be exceptionally good at. There is something inside of you that tries to get out and express itself. It’s there, it scratches the walls of your mind. Let it out!
You are Almost great
You are afraid to be consumed by it. You are afraid to commit to one thing. You are afraid of this “something”. Few times in your life, you experienced this feeling of “flow”. You were driven. Call it a passion or inspiration. You were in the flow state, where time did not matter. A continuous stream of thoughts and ideas. A beautiful state to be in. You did not care about anything else in the world. Nothing else mattered while you were fully consumed by it. You would not eat or drink. You would even hold off to go to the washroom. You were afraid to move your body, so you don’t scare away that flow state. Passion…
I want to make my life a continuous meditation. I want to live in that state. I can create something beautiful. Where is the key? How do I let this something out? Fuck, I don’t care if it takes over me. I am tired of being “almost” there… almost very good at something. Stop doing things half-heartedly. Stop playing safe. Go all in!
You are afraid to go All in
I made a promise to myself to pursue my passion for entrepreneurship and create something that I can be proud of and needed by others. I made a promise to fully commit to my passion and go fully in. I will try different ideas until I succeed. I will continue asking and failing until I succeed in my own eyes. I want to be great for myself. I realize that I might never succeed, but I don’t care. In the end, if I knew that I gave it all and followed my dreams, I will be content. There were a lot of promises that I broke. But this time, I will do everything possible to keep it.
I don’t care what you put in the word “Success”. I don’t want to be successful. Call me a loser, an idiot – I don’t care. All I want is to be proud of my own work. I want to express myself in a way that is both, enjoyable to me and useful to others. My work is my art. I want my art to be meditative. I want to be in “flow”. I want to be an artist in whatever I do. Once finished, I want to step back, look at what I’ve created and cry from happiness. I want to find it hard to believe that it was me who’ve done it. I want to enjoy the process and then celebrate the results. Fulfillment. Joy.